HUDSON II

Today I was in town picking up some strings for my altered guitar, the Resitar. I didn't know Hudson worked at the music store. He said that he had been fired from the band and the guys said that I told them to do it.

I admitted, confident that my logic was unchallengeable, that I had suggested they only work with people who came to rehearsals.

He asked me if the real reason I was against him was that I knew he had lied to me. I said nothing. He looked embarrassed and for a moment I caught the first glimpse of the insecure guy hiding back in there. He said it was true that his girlfriend wasn't pregnant. He said he was too ashamed to tell people the truth, so he had made up a cover story.

"You weren't in Juvenile Hall either, I suppose?"

He said he wasn't, but had taken off 6 months from school when he was 16. Juve was a better cover than the truth.

"This is hard. Please don't tell anyone." Tears were welling up in his deep movie star perfect eyes. He went on to hesitantly explain that he had gotten his sister pregnant when he was 16. He said sex wasn't his idea. That he wasn't sure what was even happening at the time.

"She and the kid are living with our grandparents. No one knows about it being mine except her. Between work and taking care of my kid I have had a difficult time holding any personal life together.

He said that playing his guitar was the only thing that gave him peace. He asked me to talk to Noman. He said he would not miss any more rehearsals.

I thought, " Good lord, only 19 and all that having happened to you." Then I remembered who was telling the story, "Shit shit shit shit. I wonder if he actually has a sister."

I was sworn to secrecy so the information tumbled in my head with no way to escape. Later when I was alone with Noman I casually asked if Hudson had a sister. He said that he thought he had one who was three or four years older than him. Part of me felt better. Maybe he was telling the truth. Then that part turned sour as it might mean he was raped by his sister. Noman was curious why I asked. I fumbled not having prepared to be challenged. I said that I had seen a woman in town who looked like him.

He said, "Oh. Did she have a little kid with her? That wasn't his sister, that was his mother. I don't think his sister lives around here. Mom's pretty hot, huh."